I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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