Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
