so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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