You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
