No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
