Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
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Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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