The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize