What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
