What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
