the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
