Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
