i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
