I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
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one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
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He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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