hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
