That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
