rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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