Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Randomize
