I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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