no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
