can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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