I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
