Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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