What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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