Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
