guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
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I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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