I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
