My nipple is on Facebook.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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