he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize