nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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