4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm jealous of your bromance
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
