She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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