drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
