The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My feet surprised me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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