considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
