Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
