I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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