he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
