How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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