When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
