The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
In America we eat man semen.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
