Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
