garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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