wakey wakey hands off snakey
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
