My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm at about main and main street
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
