you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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