well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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