Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
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his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
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Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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