Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
3pm strippers are depressing
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
