What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I didn't shave. On purpose
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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