batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
