just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
