Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
