what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So much Jack, so little girl.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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