That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
