as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
