the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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