You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I fill condoms, not promises.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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