3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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