Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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