So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize