Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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