Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
