Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
