Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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