Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
