You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
from now on my penis is your penis
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
farters have to be the big spoon...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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