your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
